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Jun 13, 2006 

Masters Of Disaster: USMNT Chokes; No End In Sight

It couldn't have been any worse. A 3-0 drubbing that more closely resembled a 5-0 thrashing than an honorable defeat. Everything that could go wrong went disastrously wrong. Giving up a goal in the first five minutes to the guy who the U.S. supposedly had the only remedy for--Uguchi Onyewu. Landon Donovan was nowhere to be found. Bruce "Almighty" Arena uncharacteristically butchered his tactical decisions and trashed Landon and Beasley. Just about the only revelation was the guy who many questioned the most, Eddie Johnson.

Is Onyewu for real or were we all snookered by believing in this 6-4 linebacker posing as a central defender would actually be a factor? He letdown the U.S. only all three Czech goals, although the third tally could be chalked up as a team effort. Onyewu may actually be more effective against Italy's Luca Toni, but even that advantage will be negligible if he's caught napping or flat-footed.

The enormous enigma that is Landon Donovan continues to grow. Where was he? Save for one brief attack shortly after Jan Koller's goal he wasn't a factor at all, Landycakes could have been more effective posing for glossy outdoors magazines with his shirt off. His astonishingly pre-pubescent body would have caused more of a distraction to the Czech attack than having him picking daisy's on the pitch.

What was even more amazing was that Arena chose to throw Donovan and Beasley under the bus during his post-match press conference. Is he cleverly pressing their buttons or is this first glimpse of serious internal problem with the national team? If there is any inkling of such a rift and a possible three-and-out Arena will unfortunately be out and coaching D.C. United before you can say "Freddy Adu".

Surprisingly, it was a little too late for Eddie Johnson. Granted, the game was effectively over at 2-0 when he came on, but Johnson was a revelation. Arena has to start Johnson up front with McBride against Italy. He simply has no other choice.

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